Laptop Sets Women Back 50 Years

If you want to appeal to women everywhere, simply add (fake) gold and diamond accents to whatever it is you’re selling, right? Oh wait, sorry. This the 21st century.

You will understand our confusion once you see the new “Floral Kiss” line of laptop computers from Fujitsu designed especially for female users. Going on sale in Japan Nov. 2, these beauties feature a third-generation Intel Core i5 processor, a 500 GB hard drive, and come standard with Windows 8. But those aren’t the selling points.

These are:

  • Power button with a pearl-like accent
  • “Exquisite” gold rings framing each key “highlighting its elegant style”
  • AC adaptor and wireless mouse featuring “zirconia adornments and other details”
  • Designed to be easily opened with long fingernails (well, we’ll give them kudos for that one).

Then there are the helpful programs:

  • Scrapbook “automatically stores and organizes pictures and URLs of the items, retail stores, recipes,” etc. you find online
  • Diary transforms your Facebook and Twitter feeds into, well, a diary
  • Horoscopes help you make sense of a complicated world.

While a bit jarring for Westerners, this laptop actually fits the Japanese market pretty well, thanks to an adult consumer market obsessed by cuteness, or kawaii, in everything from clothing to corporate mascots to cellphones. Can the Floral Kiss handle InDesign or Photoshop? Danged if we know.

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